Cameron's Intuition

I have no doubt that Cameron is completely aware that something is about to change. Over the past few weeks, he has brought up Allie constantly.

Recent Conversations:
Cam (totally randomly in the car last night): "Share toys with Allie."
Me: "Are you going to share your toys? That's so nice."
Cam: "Play basketball with Allie. Allie play basketball with Cameron. Share basketball."
Cam: "Give Allie hugs and kisses."

Today Cameron brought me some paper and a pen:
Cam: "Write Mommy's name."
I wrote Mommy.
Cam: "Write Daddy's name."
I wrote Daddy.
Cam: "Write Cameron."
I did.
Cam: "Write Allie."
I did.
He then happily took the paper and walked away.

Miss Lists

It's Friday night. The weather outside is frightful. Our temple square lights outing got cancelled. Nate and Cam are playing trains. I'm gonna blog.

What I WILL miss about being pregnant:
1. My belly. Even though it's heavy, I love my prego belly!
2. My maternity clothes. Most of them anyway....
3. Feeling the baby move....BEST part of being pregnant!
4. Strangers and random people being overly nice to me. The baggers at my grocery store never offered to take my cart out to my car for me before I started showing!
5. Nate doing all of the laundry and trash take-out for me!
6. Looking at tiny baby clothes at the store and getting the nursery ready.
7. Looking forward to OB appts to hear the heartbeat and see ultrasounds.
8. Having a HUGE appetite and indulging at every meal.
9. The "pregnancy waddle". I used to think women faked that, but we really do walk like that at the end anyway!!
10. Thinking about, talking about and picking out baby names.

What I WILL NOT miss about being prenant:
1. My belly. It's heavy and I keep bumping into everything! (yes I love and hate it!)
2. Atleast one part of my body being in pain all the time (usually my back)
3. Not being able to sleep on my stomach.
4. Not being able to wear my cute, normal, "skinny" clothes.
5. Bawling over EVERYTHING and being overly emotional.
6. Not being able to put my own socks on and shave my ankles.
7. Not being able to get in and out of my car or my bed without feeling like I just ran a mile.
8. Wondering and worrying if my baby is safe and normal and cute!
9. Wondering if I will go into labor during a snowstorm or while Nate is stuck in class and him missing it.
10. Not having ANY energy to play with Cameron and keep up on my daily tasks.

Since Nate is around to help out, I have started doing all of Allie's laundry. I almost started crying as I looked through all of her sweet blankets and onesies. I'm such a nerd! I just still can't believe I'm really having a little GIRL sometimes! I really really can't wait to meet her!

Diaper Bag Dilemma

Do any of you recommend (or NOT recommend) a certain brand or type of diaper bag? I don't know why, but I am having the hardest time finding one I like. We went to Target yesterday and found this one that we both loved.....

BUT I came home and looked online and found out that it got awful reviews....everyone said the zippers broke after only a few weeks, and a few other negative comments. So now I'm wondering if I should return it.

I looked around online and saw this one that got all great reviews. I might try this one out instead.

36 Weeks

Wow, less than 4 weeks left! This blog won't exist much longer, so let me know if there are any other pregnancy/baby/toddler/motherhood issues you want to 'discuss' on here! I've avoided some topics....like potty training, haha! Most of you know my experience with that....dumbest parenting mistake I've made so far, oh well! Atleast I've learned from it!

Anyway, I'm wondering if she has started to drop....??? I'm breathing a bit easier, and I'm feeling like there is more "pressure", if you know what I mean!! People keep asking me if I feel like "anything is happening" yet. They haven't checked for any dilating yet, but I honestly don't think anything has happened yet. I have another appt in a week, so I'll keep you all updated. I'm really hoping to make to ATLEAST Jan 10. Any earlier just feels too close to the New Year, for some reason. They'll induce January 15 if I don't go into labor sooner.

I hope you all enjoy Christmas this week. Be SAFE....sounds like we're all getting pummeled with Winter storms, no matter what you all live!

35 1/2 Weeks!!

Can someone tell me where my pregnancy has gone?? I cannot believe I am almost 36 weeks! I had an OB appt today. As of today, I've gained 31 pounds, which is the exact amount I gained with Cameron's whole pregnancy. We'll see if I hit 40!! Lots of yummy Holiday parties coming up to feast at, haha!! I got to hear her heartbeat, it was nice and strong.

Today on my way out of the doctor's office, I was about 10 steps behind 2 pregnant women who had been seen right before and after me. As soon as they left the building, they both lit cigarettes. It broke my heart that they would put their babies at risk like that. I don't think it's fair that innocent babies who can't make choices about their environment are forced to be subjected to things that can harm them. Why are Cameron and Allison so lucky and blessed to be born into a loving family who want nothing more than their safety and happiness.....and yet millions and millions of babies are born into situations where they are NOT safe and loved and sheltered? One of those 'impossible-to-answer questions' I guess!!

Random Question

I have a question for you fabulous moms who are always SO great about giving me your opinions and advice!! How soon after your babies were born did you nurse (or try and nurse)?? My only real regret about Cameron's whole birth experience was that there was a lot of craziness right after he was born, and I didn't even get to just sit and hold and enjoy him until about 4 hours after he was born. By then he was too sleep to nurse. I really think we might have had a better start with nursing if I had been able to try feeding him right after he was born. I think this time I am going to tell family and visitors that they are welcome to be at the Hospital, but I want some time right away with just me, Nate and her. I wanted that with Cam too, but I wasn't vocal enough about it, and by the time he arrived, I was too exhausted and hungry to care! I just wanted food, haha!! Anyway, this time I'd really like to nurse Allie as soon as I can.

More clothes....

Remember adorable Miss Ashlan that I babysat all last Winter and Spring? Her mom gave us 2 huge bags of clothes today. The CUTEST stuff ever, and it's all size 12-18 mo, which is perfect! Abby's mom and my friend Kari both gave me tons and tons of 0-9 month size, and now I have up to 18 mo size! I can't believe how generous people have been! Miss Allison is going to be very well-dressed, and we won't have spent a dime!!

Pageant Madness

So tonight I was channel surfing and came across a show on TLC documenting baby and child Beauty pageants. It was SO unbelievable that Nate and I seriously couldn't help ourselves from watching! We sat there in complete shock over what some parents will make their children do. These cute girls were SO into their hair, makeup, costumes, etc.... Not to mention the provocative and sassy way they were walking and posing. Talk about sending an awful message at such a young age! I kept telling Nate, "These poor kids, they deserve a real childhood....let them run around outside and play at the park...."

So now our new joke is that I'm going become on obsessive 'pageant mom' and force Allison to strut her stuff at 9 months old!!!

I'm not against beauty pageants....I'm just against them starting SO young....before the child has a real choice in the matter. What do you think???

Better

Things are always better when Nate's around. I'm sitting here enjoying some hot apple cider and my Winter Wonderland Scentsy burning while watching Nate and Cameron out the window having a snowball fight and playing basketball!! Nate always makes everything okay.

Blame it on the pregnancy??

So I have seriously been such an emotional MESS lately! And it's driving me CRAZY!!!! I hate not feeling like I have ANY control over my emotions. I snap at Cameron over the littlest thing, and then I start bawling cuz I feel bad....yeah, I think Nate is sort of scared of me!! I wake up each day praying so hard to keep my cool with Cameron, and I seriously last about 10 minutes before I'm a basket case!

I've been sort of worried about it and hoping I'm not a bad mom. I want NOTHING more than for Cameron and my future children to have the best childhood possible....to feel loved and safe and comfort in their home. I want the Spirit to be in our home and for us to always keep our eye on our goal of being an eternal family. But lately I feel like I haven't been a good mom AT ALL. I just cannot describe how exhausted I am! I keep telling myself "You're pregnant, just relax". But that doesnt' help when I'm in the middle of a meltdown!

Anyway, so tonight I went back and was reading some of my old blog entries back from last year and earlier this year. I read what I wrote, and I feel like I don't even recognize that voice! I obviously was a LOT more stable and enjoyed motherhood (and babysitting) much MUCH more than I have been the past few weeks, but it actually made me feel a LOT better. I'm not a horrible mom who hates motherhood! I'm just a VERY VERY hormonal pregnant woman.....RIGHT???? Someone please tell me that I will feel better soon....!!!!!

Tick Tock

I cannot believe how fast this past week flew by! Thanksgiving feels like it was yesterday! Less than 6 weeks left of this pregnancy, and I CANNOT believe it!

Thanks to my fabulous friends and family, I am pretty much all set for Allie girl to come. I need a few things still....a diaper bag (still can't decide what type to get), a baby monitor (I found one I like, I just need to order it), a few more odds and ends (more burp clothes, some newborn size pants, and some pack n play sheets).

So now I am RELAXING. Every night while Nate does homework, I snuggle up with a good book and some apple cider. I am taking in EVERY moment I have to enjoy how easy I have it right now!! Cameron is back to sleeping like an angel, and I am soaking in my evenings while they last!!!! My Christmas gifts are pretty much all ready, Allie's clothes are as organized as I could possibly make them, and I have been working on getting lots of crockpot recipes together for the weeks after she's born. Primary should be smooth this month....I have Sharing Time today, but that's it for the month! The kids have been so good lately!! And finally....only FOUR more days of babysitting left! Two days this week, two days next week, and I will finally be DONE!! I have been babysitting for over a year now, and I'm more than ready to be done with that. It has been a HUGE blessing for me to be able to stay home with Cameron, and I am so grateful for the kids I have watched, but it's really exhausting!!!

Another success....

So we think Cameron is successfully off of his night-time cup of milk! It wasn't a big deal to us, I know some mom's are all weird about their kids drinking milk in bed and their teeth rotting. We didn't care about that, we probably should have! We'd always brush his teeth, but then he'd have atleast 1 or 2 cups of milk before falling asleep. I just didn't even think about it.
But for some RANDOM reason, 3 nights ago, I decided to only give him water after we brushed his teeth. We gave him a nice big cup of milk during his book time and while we tucked him in, then we brushed his teeth, said prayers, and told him he could have water. It worked! And 3 nights later he is still off his milk at night. Yay!! So we're at no binkies during the day and no milk at night....progress!! I am learning that as a mother, I am afraid of change....if something is working well, I get really nervous to change it, even if it's in the best interest of Cameron! BUT I am also learning not to be too hard on myself!! I think mom's feel SO much pressure to parent the same way their friends or family do, but every parent and child combination is different, and I think we are all trying our best!! I don't think there is one right way to do things....especially when it comes to routines, bedtimes, binkies, bottles, soothing, discipline, etc etc etc.

I also have to give a HUGE shout-out to my sweet friend Tristan. The flannel blanket she made for Allie came today, and I LOVE IT!! She made Cam's alphabet blanket that he is in love with, and now Allie will have a "Tristan blanket" too! I love how durable these flannel blankets are....they can get dragged around, stepped on, spilled on, etc, and they just last and last. This way I can keep the kids' "great-great grandma quilts" from being destroyed!! Thanks Tristan, love and miss ya!!